Issue #33: The Impermanence of Community

Finding Stability in the Cycles of Transition and Connection

I remember celebrating my birthday in La Ecovilla in May of 2022. I had a party, it was very lovely. I invited people I felt close to at the time and we had 30 people in our house. I just pulled up the WhatsApp group we used for the invitations of that event and counted how many people are still here in the area. Out of 30 people, only 15 remain, the other 15 are gone, they live somewhere else now and we don't stay in touch.

50% turnover in 2 years.

When I look at LaEcovilla and the housing market, a similar story is seen. In the 3 years that we've been here probably as much 2/3rds of the houses switched hands, not to mention the number of residents that came and left. Those of us that have been here for a few years, see cycles within cycles. There is the short cycle of people coming, trying out the life here for a few months and then moving on to their next adventure. There is the broader cycle of people coming and really giving it a proper “try” for 1-2 years, but then once again moving on, replaced with the next set of families.

When we came to CR 3 years ago, our kids went to school, called Casa Sula at the time. There was probably 80 kids in attendance of various ages. Our kids still go to the same school(now RWS), but when we look at kids and teachers they completely changed, all new teachers and all new kids, we might be one of the few families that remained all this time. Just recently we learned that the best friend of our daughter is going back to her home country after almost 2 years here. Its tough on both girls, they're making plans of how they'll stay in touch, they're maximizing their time together now, knowing that they'll be separated, making plans to visit and call one another. It's both sweet and sad.

The transitory nature makes it challenging to develop close relationships. You want to get to know people on a deeper level, you want to make close connections, but there is a lingering question in the back of one's mind - "How long will you be here?", "Will you be here when I need you?", "Will you be here long enough to witness the change and evolution in my process and for me to witness the same in yours?". The psyche needs a sense of stability, a sense of permanence, predictability, some level of confidence in the future in at least some aspect of one's life.

Everyone has different reasons for leaving and people go to different places. Some return home to where they came from and where they have family, some want to try a different part of Costa Rica, others just go to a different country. There is not a pattern for why people leave, for some making life work here financially is difficult, for others its opportunities they see elsewhere. If the school is not a right fit for them they must go elsewhere. Others are seeking a different “vibe”. And of course for some its a sense of impermanence, the fact that things here seem to be changing rapidly and so ironically they leave, thus perpetuating the very thing they’re trying to avoid.

Underneath it all, there is a more fundamental sense of “uprootedness”. Once you leave the old life, sell the house, leave the job, leave the extended family, there is little that holds one in a single place, it becomes easy to move on, to try a different thing, to see if the grass is perhaps a bit greener over there, to avoid the unique difficulties of life in the Valley.

On the other hand, all this churn provides the needed energy to keep the valley evolving and growing. New people bring new perspectives, new ideas, new practices. The sense of staleness or boredom is rarely felt here, in fact its quite the opposite, there is always something happening. Most people come here because they’re looking for a different lifestyle, a search for something that the place they came from is unable to provide and as a result they are much more open by default and are more likely to experiment. Nobody came here to play beach volleyball every week, and yet here we are, every Sunday, like clockwork, 20 people show up playing beach volleyball. The one person who was actually seeking to play volleyball and “discovered” the court is long gone, but the practice remains.

The other benefit that the transitory nature that is often felt here provides is the ultimate lesson of impermanence. In Buddhism, the philosophy of impermanence, or anicca in Pali, is one of the foundational teachings. It refers to the understanding that all conditioned phenomena are transient, constantly changing, and lacking any permanent essence. All things, whether material (objects, bodies) or immaterial (thoughts, feelings), are subject to change. Nothing stays the same from one moment to the next. This change is continuous and affects everything—mountains erode, flowers bloom and wither, emotions arise and fade, and even consciousness is transient. Intuitively, there is a level of discomfort in accepting this basic truth, the mind looks for signs of the opposite - look this tree was here yesterday and it’ll be here tomorrow, in fact it will probably be here after I’m gone. But of course that’s yet another mind trick, or so they say - at least my tree is still standing there.

You might have noticed that I’m a sucker for consistency, reliability, certainty, follow-through, commitment, predictability. Whenever I see someone do a thing, every week or every month, year after year, I am truly at awe. Sure, some things only need to be done once and there are certainly periods in one’s life where a hobby or a particular personal development tool is employed only for some duration of time only. But if we’re talking about community and defining what it means to build a thriving community, those virtues are necessary. Showing up when you said you would show-up is necessary. Doing the thing you said you would do is necessary. Having predictable and repeatable ceremonies/events/gatherings, evolving - yes, but predictable and repeatable in their timing and structure is necessary. LEV Morning Workouts - yes!(2 years and counting), Women’s Circle - yes!(4 years+?) ESM Sunday Market - yes!(1 year and counting), Men’s Circles - may be!(good attempts, but not quite consistent yet), Weekly Surfing - yes!(2+ years), Charlie Picking you up from the airport - yes!(3+ years and counting), Buddhist Wednesday Meditations - yes!(3 years?), Finca Vida Verde Gatherings - yes!(10 years?), Rio Machuca Flowing, Full Moon, Rising Sun, Rain Season followed by Dry Season, Stars.